Chaps out of water: student embarks on self-imposed mission to find the best tasting water fountain

Whether you carry your water in a Hydro Flask or a Yeti, we just want one thing: good, cold water to keep us hydrated. That is why I set out on an intense investigation to find the best water fountains in the school. It was a long journey filled with 17 water fountains and many bathroom breaks, but the result is a ranking of all the water fountains. 

But before we move onto the list let me preface this by saying three things. First, many of the fountains were rather unremarkable. It wasn’t the cool, refreshing water straight from the Icelandic rivers that I expected, but it got the job done. This goes for the water pressure as well. Second, these mediocre fountains had their own small perk that is not to be ignored. Except for the fountain on the second floor of the Ninth Grade building, that one was truly unremarkable. Third, most of the fountains performed better than the water bottle filler station attached to the fountain. 

Mid-Performing Fountains 


  • Commons to the left: The Fastest Fountain in the South


This fountain is great if you’re in a pinch and it’s easy on the eyes. The water pressure of this fountain can be intimidating for how intense it is, but it fills any container in no time. It’s also aesthetically pleasing because it looks new. 


  • Chap Court: Lunch Time Fill Up


The Chap Court fountain is truly in a prime location. Although it may be between bathrooms, it’s perfect to use during lunch time.


  • Performing Arts Center: The Show Girl


No wonder the most ornate fountain is located in the PAC. It doesn’t have the water bottle filling station but you probably won’t even notice with the three fountains the wall holds. That’s right, three fountains. And while sipping some water, you can usually hear muffled music, either from the locker rooms or a performance in the auditoriums. An unforseen bonus is that the fountains have a pleasant smell. 


  • US History/Government Hallway: Sweet and Slow


Now I know low water pressure may seem like a negative, and it can be if you’re late to class. But the fountain provides a small escape from our hectic world. It’s rather isolated (at the end of the US History and Government hallway), so it’s quiet especially during classes. And the low pressure lets the user stop and breathe for a moment while they wait for their bottle to fill. 

Lowest-Premoring Fountains


  • Visual Arts Building: Is There Acrylic Paint in Here?


As a student who spends lots of her time in the Visual Arts Building, I avoid this fountain. But for the sake of science, I gave it a second chance. And my opinions remain: this is a despicable fountain. At first it doesn’t seem like much, but after taking a few sips, the water leaves a strange taste in your mouth. Could it just be an outlier with a different pipe? Could it be the taste of mind controlling chemicals? We may never know. 


  • Upper Commons English Hallway: A Snake


Picture this: you’ve spent most of the class aggressively annotating Catcher in the Rye and suddenly you feel rather parched. You leave the class and at the end of the hallway you see the radiant water fountain. You fill your water bottle and are impressed by the perfect water pressure the fountain provides. You go to sip the water and are utterly destroyed to find the temperature of water is merely a “meh.” 


  • Upper Commons Science Hallway: Sitting Bathtub


I think the title speaks for itself when it comes to this fountain. The water filling station is truly lukewarm water and the fountain itself isn’t much better. It feels like bathtub water that has been sitting out for too long. 


  • World History Hallway: Hopeless Case


This fountain doesn’t come with the water filling station, so one would expect more from the fountain, which I stated before is usually cooler. But sadly, that was not the case.The temperature of the water could only be described as “lame.” 


  • Third Floor Ninth Grade Building: The Snake Strikes Again


It may seem wrong to assume that just because the fountain looked closer the water would be better, but that’s exactly what I did and I was severely disappointed. Similar to the English hallway fountain, the look of the fountain was not a proper demonstration of the “meh” water.

Best-performing Fountains


  • Between the PAC and Chap Court: A True Fountain


After tasting the water bottle filling station, I expected to find the fountain to be slightly cooler but nothing more. It was a pleasant surprise to find that the fountain was actually much cooler and refreshing. Like the fountain in the PAC, when you can sometimes hear muffled music.


  • Upper and Lower Commons to the Right: The Wright Brothers


These two fountains may not be much to look at and their water pressure may be a little on the lame side, however the location and the temperature of these are supreme. 


  • Outside of the Library: A Goldilocks Story


Again, the fountain compared to the filling station was better. This fountain is at just the right cold temperature, but not cold enough to hurt students with sensitive teeth. 


  • Ninth Grade Cafeteria: The Perfect Lunch


In a surprise twist, the fountain in the ninth grade center was of a higher quality than the one in the Chap Court. The water is perfectly cooled to quench a thirst after lunch. You win this one, freshmen. 


  • First Floor Ninth Grade Building: An Underdog


When it comes to this fountain, don’t even bother with the filling station. But don’t overlook the slightly hidden fountain at the end of the math hallway. The fountain is surprisingly good and would easily alleviate a student’s thirst. 

The Winning Fountain


  • Black Box Theatre: The Unsung Hero


And finally we are here, the winner. I didn’t even know this fountain existed until this study and I have no idea how I’ve lived without it. The water feels like Posiden himself took water from the freshest rivers and lakes, and chilled them to perfection for us to drink. It may be out of the way, especially for upperclassmen, but it is well worth the trip. This fountain is truly the best in the school.