Bitter sophomore complains about not having Netflix

“Kendall, have you seen Stranger Things?”

“Oh my gosh, Bill Nye Saves the World is so good! You should watch it!”

“Have you watched the newest season of Orange is the New Black?”

I hear these questions all the time. Conversation after conversation, people ask about how caught up I am on my Netflix original shows, and with each one I get a little more irritated. Finally, I reach my limit.

“What was your opinion on Thirteen Reasons Why?”

I stand up, my chair flying back behind me as I pound my fists on the table and scream, “I DON’T HAVE NETFLIX!” Everyone glances over at me as my innocent friend slowly backs away, and I sit back down to work on my math homework.

Yes, I’m one of the pitiful people still living without Netflix’s streaming services. My parents seem to be stuck in 2005 when people got DVDs. In the mail. We’re essentially living like cavemen. All of my friends get to talk about old Parks and Recreation episodes while I’m stuck with old episodes of 6teen that have been uploaded to YouTube.

Basically, it feels like everyone is in a club together except me, and I’m just sitting outside of the room wistfully glancing in while some obscure YouTube video that I’m using for entertainment runs in the background.

First of all, I never know what’s going on in pop culture. Right now, one of the common discussions is everyone’s opinion on Thirteen Reasons Why, and I was left completely out of the loop. In order to form an opinion and discuss the concept of it, I had to read a real book. I didn’t get to just sit back and enjoy a TV show — I had to put in effort. And, for some reason, I like to hold onto the fact that I might get Netflix at some point, so I try to prevent spoilers. So not only do I not get to know what’s going on, I won’t let myself become informed.

It’s not all terrible, though. I still have cable. I do get to watch some TV. However, in the “Let’s get rid of cable!” phase that everyone went through a few years back, most of my friends got rid of cable and only watch things on Netflix. This means that barely any people actually know what’s happening on the shows I try to talk about — no discussing what’s going on in the show or the future of the show for me; that’s spoiling since people with Netflix are generally at least a season behind.

But perhaps the biggest reason as to why not having Netflix is awful is because I miss out on all the cool shows. Do you know how many glowing reviews I’ve heard of Stranger Things? Do you have any idea how many people have recommended Bill Nye Saves the World to me? I would love to watch these shows, but I have to instead deal with the constant suggestions to watch it, angrily muttering about YouTube not uploading these shows.

So, please. If you know your friend or classmate doesn’t have Netflix, you can treat them normally, but don’t make them feel worse than they probably already do. We know how much it sucks that we don’t have it. We know that Netflix is awesome, and you recommend us getting it. And yes, we know whatever show you’re talking about is absolutely amazing, but no, we’re not going to suffer through the terrible-quality version on YouTube (if that even exists) just so you can tell us about another show to start the cycle all over again.