The very important question that has been lingering in all of Americas’ mind since 2008 is team Jacob or team Edward? Quite honestly, that would probably be the most interesting thing to discuss about the whole Twilight Saga, anyway. I know some may disagree with me.

Never having been a fan of the Twilight movies, I wasn’t too anxious to watch the newest and last of them, Breaking Dawn Part 2. However, I decided to go last Saturday to see what the whole fuss is about, not to mention that I had nothing to do that afternoon and Taylor Lautner isn’t too hard on the eyes. So I called up my friend Carl and we headed to the AMC at the Barton Creek mall for the 5 p.m. showing.

Overall, the movie was just what I had expected it to be. Kristen Stewart, who plays the main character, Bella, had the same monotonous expression as always. It’s miraculous how she shows no sign of emotion, as if she thinks giving birth to a half-vampire-half-mortal baby is actually common.

Without giving away too much, my biggest disappointment of the movie was its highlight. Near the middle, a battle takes place between the Cullen family and the Volturi (the vampire enemies). This was the part where Carl woke up from his brief nap and actually paid attention with me. The battle scene takes up almost half of the movie and many of the significant characters get killed in it, which was exciting to watch. When a certain one got killed (can’t say who), a group of six 12-year-old girls stood up from their seats and clapped and wooed as if they were waiting for that moment all their lives. Unfortunately, Carl’s and my fun ended abruptly with the final twist. I swear we almost lost it. The only good part got completely shut down. That’s all I can say.

Here’s my advice: don’t watch Breaking Dawn Part 2. You want to see creepy people who crave blood and not food? Go watch Vampire Diaries on your television. You want to see Taylor Lautner? There are still reruns of Sharkboy and Lava Girl somewhere. You want to see big cute wolves? Go to the woods and bring some meat with you. The point is, unless you are a prepubescent girl or Stephenie Meyer, you have no excuse to put yourself through the perfect example of what modern media is manipulating us to think of as a good movie.